What can I expect from a Mini?

I have yet to drive a Mini, but am getting more eager by the day. Until I snare one, I’m having to get my fix from virtual sources.

Hence, me turning to Autocar, 23 August, 1989.

Here, the magazine subjected a 998cc Mayfair to the rigors of its full road test, as a celebration of 30 years’ production.

What did Autocar make of it? Well, I took from it the following impressions:

•    Engine
It’s slow. The Mini is substantially slower than the original 1959 test car, says Autocar. Sure, it weighs 10 percent more, but the engine’s also bigger. 0-60mph in 22 seconds sounds slow to me, a top speed of 78mph below my everyday cruising speed.

It’s also, says Autocar, slower in the gears. This is because the gearing has been raised over the original, by 20 percent. At least that means you don’t have to rev it; there’s a ‘cacophony’ near the 5750rpm redline. But, it lugs smoothly through the rev range and, says Autocar, isn’t as unrefined as has been made out. Unlike the gearbox, which whines, is obstructive and agricultural.

•    Driving impressions
Autocar loves how the Mini handled. By modern standards, the turn in is almost too sharp; the communicative steering means you place it inch-perfect every time. It’s also throttle-adjustable.

The ride isn’t as bad as feared. It’s nervous in town, with the short-travel suspension easily caught out. But it’s very stable on motorways, dealing with low-frequency undulations well.

•    Interior
The car is dated from behind the wheel, with switches out of reach. Visibility is fantastic, but the driving position has ‘serious problems’. Space is ‘inadequate’, noise levels high and the seats, while not uncomfortable, are lacking in lumbar and lateral support.

Even Mayfair trim is sparsely equipped. However, it feels sturdy and strong, with the doors shutting cleanly and solidly. The paintwork would be favourable on a car costing twice as much. Alas, minor items are shabbily assembled, and the keys are difficult to put in the locks.

•    Summary

It is slow, unrefined, cramped, and modern superminis are in a different league. Doesn’t matter. It’s still easy to make a case for the Mini, concludes Autocar. It’s great fun to drive, and stands out in a world where cars look ever-more anonymous.

All that criticism’s to be expected. All that we can take. We buy Minis not for rational reasons, but emotional ones. Autocar’s modern-perspective take has only served to reinforce that… now then, does anyone know if F 21 RKV, the reg of the test car, is still out there?